My poor baby!

E. can't have dairy.

Seems fine - newborns don't eat cheese, milk, butter, sour cream, etc.

But mommy does!

We went 1 week dairy-free and E. was just fine. Then we started thinking "maybe she's not really dairy-intolerant, let's try it." So I had milk on my cereal (instead of soy) one day, and home-made ranch dressing another day, and potato salad with milk in it the next day... and yesterday E. was so miserable! Every time she pooped she'd double over in agony and whimper! And there is nothing more disgusting than breastfed-baby-with-colitis-poop. BLECH!

So I cut the dairy yesterday and drank a LOT of water to flush it out and today she seems so much happier! In fact, she's even sleeping in her bassinet for the first time in a couple of days! (I've had to hold her while she's sleeping so that she'll relax).

Bad mommy - no more dairy!

Why I don't answer the phone

~the ring wakes E. up so I have to console her and put her back to sleep. Or - feed her.
~I'm feeding the baby
~I'm sleeping with the baby
~I can't hear the phone because the baby is crying
~I'm too tired to chit-chat
~My hands are full

Sorry to those of you who have called me. I appreciate your well wishes, but at this point with a two-week old preemie, I don't have a lot of time or energy to chat on the phone. :(
However - yesterday we had our first big outing! I had my two-week follow up appointment with my midwife, and then took my mom to get her hair cut. (Really, mom went with me to the appointment to watch E., and in return we went to her hair appointment). (I weighed in at 177lbs, my stitches are almost gone, and my BP was 110/72. I've lost 25lbs since E was born! NICE!)
Usually, E. sleeps in the car. Something about the sound and the rocking and the lights puts her to sleep. However, not so much yesterday. But after her "big freak out" in the car, she was fine until the evening. Which was nice. So after our outing we went to my mom's house for dinner (after a nap at home), and E. proceeded to get fussy. Poor baby! So mom consoled her and made me eat and relax (I love my mom).
Then on the way home, I get pulled over for speeding. With a screaming baby in the back seat! (I was maybe going 5 miles over the speed limit). WHAT A DAY! The cop was very nice, however, and told me to be careful and watch out for deer jumping out in my way (my parents live in fairly rural Island county), and let me off with just a verbal warning. Phew.
But here's the story behind the fussing.
See, it turns out that E. can't handle dairy. So - I can't eat dairy any more. It turns her intestines inside-out and just makes the poor thing miserable! I had cut dairy out for a week, and just started having milk on my cereal the last couple of days - but no more. Even a tiny bit of milk in my diet made the poor little thing miserable!
So, so she was up fussing until 1am. She would just double over in pain and then start screaming! Her diapers are no longer breastfed-baby-poop, but mucousy nastiness. I'm such a bad mommy.

However today she is feeling better - the dairy is out of my system and is working through hers, so she'll be OK by this evening.

Tomorrow J's parents are coming to visit! That will be fun - they're so low-maintenence and are just excited to see the baby! Plus, I think they're bringing diapers. YAY DIAPERS! :)

Signing off for now, going to enjoy my quiet time before E. wakes up from her nap!

Welcome back, Kotter

Well, remember how we said we were going to put off having kids for another year or so?

Well... E. is 12 days old today and (finally) sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. My nipples hurt, my lochia flow has finally ebbed, and my poor baby has diaper rash and her belly button is sore where the last of her umbilical cord is falling off.

A lot has changed since my last post, eh?

So here I sit at home. A new mother who is struggling to adapt to the new emotional and physical strains. Wondering what to do when maternity leave is over? I have until the first week in July, but what do I do... Do I find a new job here in Stanwood to be closer to my baby? Do I keep the job in Seattle because it pays very well? I'm finding that my loyalty to C&B is fading and is being replaced with a loyalty to my family - my baby.

And I've put J. through so much these past 9 months! From a surprise pregnancy to moving out of the city, to constant unknowns (he hates those), it's a wonder he's still sane enough to love me!

Caring for a new baby is a huge challenge and responsibility! I worry about her constantly - her cries reduce me to tears if I can't make her feel better! If I don't hear her breathing I run over and check. Last night I found myself telling J. he couldn't hold her while we went to sleep because I was worried she'd smother.

I've become paranoid.

If my mom wasn't here taking care of me these first few weeks, I wouldn't be able to take care of E. There would be no way! I wouldn't be eating regularly, healthily, wouldn't be breastfeeding as successfully as I am now, and the laundry would never get done and the floor would not be vacuumed.

What I need? J. to be more supportive at home and less focused on the changes being made in his life. Why? I can't worry about him, E., and myself and be expected to function. My priority is the baby right now, and he is second. It's hard for me to accept that role change, but it's the honest truth and we all need to adjust accordingly. *sigh* nobody said becoming a parent was easy, did they?

Anyway, I believe I smell a poopy diaper, so I must wake sleeping beauty and get it changed. I don't want her diaper rash to get worse!