Welcome back, Kotter
Well, remember how we said we were going to put off having kids for another year or so?
Well... E. is 12 days old today and (finally) sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. My nipples hurt, my lochia flow has finally ebbed, and my poor baby has diaper rash and her belly button is sore where the last of her umbilical cord is falling off.
A lot has changed since my last post, eh?
So here I sit at home. A new mother who is struggling to adapt to the new emotional and physical strains. Wondering what to do when maternity leave is over? I have until the first week in July, but what do I do... Do I find a new job here in Stanwood to be closer to my baby? Do I keep the job in Seattle because it pays very well? I'm finding that my loyalty to C&B is fading and is being replaced with a loyalty to my family - my baby.
And I've put J. through so much these past 9 months! From a surprise pregnancy to moving out of the city, to constant unknowns (he hates those), it's a wonder he's still sane enough to love me!
Caring for a new baby is a huge challenge and responsibility! I worry about her constantly - her cries reduce me to tears if I can't make her feel better! If I don't hear her breathing I run over and check. Last night I found myself telling J. he couldn't hold her while we went to sleep because I was worried she'd smother.
I've become paranoid.
If my mom wasn't here taking care of me these first few weeks, I wouldn't be able to take care of E. There would be no way! I wouldn't be eating regularly, healthily, wouldn't be breastfeeding as successfully as I am now, and the laundry would never get done and the floor would not be vacuumed.
What I need? J. to be more supportive at home and less focused on the changes being made in his life. Why? I can't worry about him, E., and myself and be expected to function. My priority is the baby right now, and he is second. It's hard for me to accept that role change, but it's the honest truth and we all need to adjust accordingly. *sigh* nobody said becoming a parent was easy, did they?
Anyway, I believe I smell a poopy diaper, so I must wake sleeping beauty and get it changed. I don't want her diaper rash to get worse!
Well... E. is 12 days old today and (finally) sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. My nipples hurt, my lochia flow has finally ebbed, and my poor baby has diaper rash and her belly button is sore where the last of her umbilical cord is falling off.
A lot has changed since my last post, eh?
So here I sit at home. A new mother who is struggling to adapt to the new emotional and physical strains. Wondering what to do when maternity leave is over? I have until the first week in July, but what do I do... Do I find a new job here in Stanwood to be closer to my baby? Do I keep the job in Seattle because it pays very well? I'm finding that my loyalty to C&B is fading and is being replaced with a loyalty to my family - my baby.
And I've put J. through so much these past 9 months! From a surprise pregnancy to moving out of the city, to constant unknowns (he hates those), it's a wonder he's still sane enough to love me!
Caring for a new baby is a huge challenge and responsibility! I worry about her constantly - her cries reduce me to tears if I can't make her feel better! If I don't hear her breathing I run over and check. Last night I found myself telling J. he couldn't hold her while we went to sleep because I was worried she'd smother.
I've become paranoid.
If my mom wasn't here taking care of me these first few weeks, I wouldn't be able to take care of E. There would be no way! I wouldn't be eating regularly, healthily, wouldn't be breastfeeding as successfully as I am now, and the laundry would never get done and the floor would not be vacuumed.
What I need? J. to be more supportive at home and less focused on the changes being made in his life. Why? I can't worry about him, E., and myself and be expected to function. My priority is the baby right now, and he is second. It's hard for me to accept that role change, but it's the honest truth and we all need to adjust accordingly. *sigh* nobody said becoming a parent was easy, did they?
Anyway, I believe I smell a poopy diaper, so I must wake sleeping beauty and get it changed. I don't want her diaper rash to get worse!
posted by Kodyann at
5:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home